1. empt all that i hear these days are the rustle of sheets and the tick tock of the clock - inside sounds like agony. outside i want to be my shadow, no details in the sun - someone you watch but never really see. i can't see a horizon from this in-between - not in my reflection nor in my dreams. in all the day's beauty i'd rather be asleep.
2. identi at sunset astrology becomes contagious, tangent like tiny constellations suspended midair. my rising sign is always sin. i become clear in the shadows of the beach, bright in the water flush that holds me. young hands snake along the glittering shore, seeking the shape of their own faces. the moon calls out with limitations. at sunset the sand is a scrying mirror that slips through my grip like strands of hair. my sin rises with the ride, with submission.
3. desperat i want to be a car forever see them from the window curtains like waves framing a hard glass face and i don't want to remember myself i will be a mustang, all power and no will touch me, no one will think i chose the shape of my body but instead i feel as though my soul has broken out from inside of me perching on my shoulders the sourness slowly resonates the mumble, the hum, the buzz, the haze the holes i imagine replacing my face you bubble like a blister, familiar emptiness seeding in my sinus cavity see my eyes are ingrown toenails see my toenails stapling sheets taste sharp metal in my mouth you see the parts that don't belong the things i have hidden to help me rot, the things i have hidden to hurt you.
from “transgressive middle school verses”.
de-rendering 